Unkown Correspondence from 5/4/2021

it absolutely would if “makes me uncomfortable” wasn’t so charged with them. for context, I was 19, working in a tool store quartered in a mostly abandoned mall. on the rare chance a woman came in alone, they would call out exhaustingly vanilla “codes” on the radio. (literally just “Code T” and “Code A”) I started responding with stupid shit like “let me see the little wigglers” and breathing heavy. looking back, you’re probably right - a moment of honesty probably would’ve been better for all of us. they probably would’ve respected me more.

but I was 19 and hadn’t been around my dad or the farm since 14 - LOTS of complexes there surrounding class, father shit, and the fundamental disdain I had for the company of any straight dudes that resulted. also, these guys were particularly “rough.” the sort that don’t call the police but not in a good way. I was programmed to despise their whole emotional framework

idk it was a long time ago but these guys were ‘pretty rough.’ like the sort that handles problems by getting the boys together to grab you, drive you out of town, beat you close to death, and leave you. (but only for shit like sexually assaulting your sister.)

((this sounds completely unbelievable lmao)